Forums > Personal > something is bothering me....

forum rss feed
Author

sparrow 21754 user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1947 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 02:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

ok so my friend is bipolar (like...severely) shes messed up in the head but at teh same time refuses to be happy. she believes her only way of happiness is to die or just somehow not exist. shes on all kinda of drugs both perscribed and not. she hangs out with bad people


ive told her all i could. i have not patronized her or put her down, lectured or fed into her stuff (makeing her feel better by telling her what she wants to hear) basically she wants to be miserable.

im tired of trying to help her if she doesnt want to listen or doestn want help. i know its easy to say 'its her choice let her fuck up' and such but i care bout her since shes one of my best friends.

what should i do/say?


why pay the visit when the visit is free?



"this shitty guitar wont play what i want! it only knows three chords!"
Killer Queenie user not visiting Queenzone.com
Oooft! xD
Killer Queenie
Royalty: 1807 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 04:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

hmmmm... I think she may be suffering from depression... maybe she needs to see a doctor or a phycyatricst(sp?). But the best thing I guess you could really do is to just be there for support incase anything bad happens. If she doesn't accept it - oh well. You have done everything you could.


Nothing matters when knowing nothing matters;;

It's just life so keep dancing through;;
magicalfreddiemercury user not visiting Queenzone.com
magicalfreddiemercury
Deity: 2693 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 08:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Can you talk to her parents? They might not realize the extent of her depression or drug use. It couldn't hurt to inform them. (or you can tell your parents if you think they'll talk to hers.)



"The others don't like my interviews. And frankly, I don't care much for theirs." ~ Freddie Mercury



Eviltwin user not visiting Queenzone.com
My Display Message
Eviltwin
Bohemian: 549 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 08:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hey Rave, How much have read on Bi-Polar disorder or "manic depression"?

Is she always "low" and never "high"?

You should for sure bring to someone's attention that she is mixing drugs.

If she is a close friend, and this is really bothering you, you should read up as much as you can on it. They can be very difficult people.

Of course, this is only my opinion.

Poo, again user not visiting Queenzone.com
Poo, again
Deity: 4776 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 11:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Emo.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: I want him to shove it down my throat and shoot. Shoot! Shoot! C'mon! SHOOT! SHOOT!

[/QUOTENAME]



[/QUOTE]







kimmithee user not visiting Queenzone.com

Champion: 88 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 11:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

it may be a sign of depression or something at home is bothering her. ask her whats wrong if there's something bothering her.


you know i'm just joking, right?

NOT!!

just kiddin! well how do you know if i'm just kidding? maybe i'm not, but you see, you can never ever know especially with a cow lover!!
Killer Queenie user not visiting Queenzone.com
Oooft! xD
Killer Queenie
Royalty: 1807 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 13:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color=pink>Account Deleted wrote:

Emo.


just cos they are depressed doesn't mean they are an Emo, Brian May suffered from depression and he aint an Emo is he?


Nothing matters when knowing nothing matters;;

It's just life so keep dancing through;;
Poo, again user not visiting Queenzone.com
Poo, again
Deity: 4776 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 15:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color=0099FF>Killer Queenie wrote:

<font color=pink>Account Deleted wrote:

Emo.


just cos they are depressed doesn't mean they are an Emo, Brian May suffered from depression and he aint an Emo is he?


Emo.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: I want him to shove it down my throat and shoot. Shoot! Shoot! C'mon! SHOOT! SHOOT!

[/QUOTENAME]



[/QUOTE]







Sonia Doris user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 6254 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 15:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

emu :)

You shouldn't do anything, sometimes it's not a good idea to force somebody change his/her/its views on the world. Maybe she's happy in her misery.


2+2=5
Carol! the Musical user not visiting Queenzone.com
Carol! the Musical
Deity: 5934 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 15:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sonia Doris wrote:

emu :)

You shouldn't do anything, sometimes it's not a good idea to force somebody change his/her/its views on the world. Maybe she's happy in her misery.

Who the fuck is happy being miserable?...


-Things Have Changed For Me-
AspiringPhilosophe user not visiting Queenzone.com
AspiringPhilosophe
Royalty: 1711 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 16:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

It sounds like a cry for attention to me, and probably depression, if not true bipolar. You should definatly tell her parents (or yours so they can tell hers) about the drug use, because belive me she's doing more harm than good with the drugs if she truly is bipolar...my sister is bipolar and did drugs to try and "fix herself".
She'll be mad you told, but you need to reassure her that you are doing it out of concern for her, because you care for her.
But, a caveat is needed. In the end, whether or not she gets help is her decision. Even her parents forcing her to go to counseling or take medication or something won't do any good at all if she hasn't already made the decision to get help. She needs to know that you support her and care for her, but you can't force her to change. Only she can do that. If she chooses to remain miserable, in spite of everything else, you will have to wash your hands of it. I'm not saying you have to be mean or anything, but just give her space and accept that if she's living this way there isn't anything you can do about it.
Best of luck to you....be strong


Formerly MHG
Lisser user not visiting Queenzone.com
Lisser
Deity: 4794 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 17:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color=660066>Dorian<h6>pssht wrote:

Sonia Doris wrote:

emu :)

You shouldn't do anything, sometimes it's not a good idea to force somebody change his/her/its views on the world. Maybe she's happy in her misery.

Who the fuck is happy being miserable?...


Many people are. You'd be surprised.


Wo ist das kamerahhhhhhhhhhh!!!



NJ!!!























Carol! the Musical user not visiting Queenzone.com
Carol! the Musical
Deity: 5934 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 17:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color="FF0066">DeadOnTime<h6>~<3~! wrote:

Lisser wrote:

<font color=660066>Dorian<h6>pssht wrote:

Sonia Doris wrote:

emu :)

You shouldn't do anything, sometimes it's not a good idea to force somebody change his/her/its views on the world. Maybe she's happy in her misery.

Who the fuck is happy being miserable?...


Many people are. You'd be surprised.




I'll have to admit I'm one of them.

Give happiness a chance...! :D


-Things Have Changed For Me-
Donna13 user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1683 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 18:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

You say she is one of your best friends and yet she is hanging around with "bad" people and doing drugs. People choose the group they want to be with. I think it is best for you to keep away from her while she is having such serious problems. This is self preservation.

However, if she has made statements about wanting to die, you should take that seriously enough to tell her parents. She might be planning suicide at this point.

It can't be good for your life to feel that level of responsibility for someone else's actions.

Micrówave user not visiting Queenzone.com
Delilah, on Medium Power
Micrówave
Deity: 7037 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 18:52 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sparrow wrote:


what should i do/say?


Buy a baby shower gift now.

thomasquinn 32989 user not visiting Queenzone.com
thomasquinn 32989
Deity: 6256 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 20:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

sparrow


something is bothering me....


A lot of things are bothering me, but I don't go 'round claiming webspace for them, do I now?


Not Plutus but Apollo rules Parnassus

sparrow 21754 user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1947 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 20 Dec 06, 20:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

see thats the other thing. her parents are kinda in the same spot i am. shes been in the psych ward a couple times, the hospital a few times and she is bi-polar. she has eating disorders and she cuts herself. its sad to watch but we argued about it and she just wants to be unhappy. its all she knows. now its up to her really to figure things out. people have tried. ive tried several times to help her and so have her friends.

her parents on the other hand are also irrational when it comes to her desisions. she is in a way a spolit brat but at the same time her parents are rather uncaring about it or as i said 'irrational'. they put her down instead of trying to help her when she fucks up. that is wrong. she doesnt need that.

and as sonia said there are people who want to be miserable. and in this case and mjost of my friends's cases its true. its a cry for attention. but this friend is really fucked up. i want to help, but at the same time ive helped for so long and she just doesnt care or listen.

i believe the only thing i can do as someone said, is self preservation. i may just have to keep her out of my life to keep her from sucking me into bad things. its sad to watch and hurts me to do it but at this point its all i can do. ive put all kinds of effort (by not lecturing or insulting her) in telling her how i feel and trying to help, but trying and not succeeding is exhausting.

everyones aware of whats shes doing but shes too stubborn to budge. unless someone cuffs her and puts her in the psych ward again and this time untill shes cured thers nothing we can do :(

shes made so many problems on it its to a point where shes gotta hit rock bottom and learn herself. so i guess i gotta sit back and watch and be there for her when she figures it out.


why pay the visit when the visit is free?



"this shitty guitar wont play what i want! it only knows three chords!"
sparrow 21754 user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1947 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 21 Dec 06, 02:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<b><font color = "crimson"> ThomasQuinn wrote:

sparrow


something is bothering me....


A lot of things are bothering me, but I don't go 'round claiming webspace for them, do I now?



....nobody asked you. if you have nothing useful to say to this then dont bother wasting your time to post here.

sure theres plenty im angry at or frustrated, but this is a rare occasion for me to do this, nor would i normally post something not worth most peoples time. im not a spammer, nor do i whine about my lame-ass everyday problems. so shut your mouth. im allowed to ask for help once in a while just as much as anyone else. im not harming anyone.

QZ is just some outside opinions for me, if that bothers you for some reason, as i said, dont waste your time or mine posting here.


well anyway, thanks guys, i think i know that the best thing for me to do (since i told her all i could) is to leave her to learn. it saddens me to do it, but as (i think) donna said, i shouldnt have that kind of resposibility, and i agree. i shouldnt exhaust myself for her expense (in which she wouldnt bother budging anyway). its been happening for far too long and i dont want to deal with her anymore. hopefully soon shell learn.


why pay the visit when the visit is free?



"this shitty guitar wont play what i want! it only knows three chords!"
Poo, again user not visiting Queenzone.com
Poo, again
Deity: 4776 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 21 Dec 06, 07:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Tell her to stop being so fucking emo.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: I want him to shove it down my throat and shoot. Shoot! Shoot! C'mon! SHOOT! SHOOT!

[/QUOTENAME]



[/QUOTE]







AspiringPhilosophe user not visiting Queenzone.com
AspiringPhilosophe
Royalty: 1711 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 21 Dec 06, 09:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

You know, if this were 5 years ago I could have sworn it was me writing about my sister. We had her in and out of psych wards too. And to be honest, while you may think her parents are being irrational, it's more likely they are just lost. They don't know what to do, because nothing they've tried seems to be helping. I know, that's what happend with my parents and my sister.
In the end, Ashely had to decide for herself that she was sick of acting the way she was (she was drinking heavily and cutting herself as well). Mom and Dad were always there to help, but they didn't know what else they could do. There was a while there where we were all sure she was going to kill herself with this behavior. Eventually, she had a "lightbulb" moment. She was riding somewhere with Mom, turned to look at her and said, "Mom, I need help. I don't want to be like this anymore." That was all she needed to accept. We took her back to the psych ward where she'd been before (the doctor there wanted her to come back when she was ready for treatment) and she was there for about two weeks while they put her on medication and counseled her.
Today, she's back to normal. She takes her meds regularly, got her diploma and a nurse's assisstant certification, and is holding down a good paying job (more than what I make!) as a nurse's aid in a medical care facility for older adults and other disabled people. She's got wonderful friends and has really turned things around.
What's the point in all of this? My sister made the decision to change. Your friend needs to make the decision to change. However, you need to realize you can't make her do that, neither can her parents, and you may need to start accepting the fact that she doesn't want to make it. If she doesn't, you need to cut your losses and move on. Holding on is only going to extend the pain (trust me, I know this one).
If you've told her parents about the drug use and everything else, there isn't much else you can do.
BTW...you said earlier that most of your friends are like this. Why? It may be time to evaluate your circle of friends. It's possible you are hanging with them because it makes you feel better to provide them with the sense of security and love that they need, but you run a very great risk to yourself in doing so. It sounds like you are a very caring, giving person. But you may also have some self esteem issues that make you crave this type of idea where you need to feel needed by others to feel good about yourself. That isn't healthy.
Just a thought. I hope it's not taken as an insult, because it isn't meant to be one.


Formerly MHG