Murder = Only idiots commit them so they go to jail and we get rid of them. 50% of the cases.
Rape = Ugly women/men can ask for a reenactment of the case.
Heroin = It kills morons.
Cockadink = They eventually die too.
Monica Lewinsky = Her knees are made of Titanium.
Bill Clinton's cigar (the one he dipped in Monica) = Got lost inside her.
Painful Death = If you're dead you can't feel the pain.
Bird Shit = It doesn't smell.
Britney Spears = Her "musical" career is dead.
Bawbie Bell = Good he lives in Kansas and doesn't here.
Spammers = They increase sites' traffic and raise their monetary profits.
Lollipops = You can suck them and people won't think you're gay.
Bridges = If you're sailing, they protect you from Sun (during a sunny day) for about 5 seconds average.
Dink Weeds = They can hide the weed you smoke.
Magic Wheat = Is not magic.
Lint = It will keep away from your crib that allergic & annoying friend you have.
Snowplow = They are sexy.
Bruce N Dale = No idea who they are but they seem to be positive fuckaz.
Freddie Mercury = He was gay and never married Mary Austin or he'd have ended up homeless and in bankruptcy.
Brian Wilson = He never was a surfer.
Bruce Almstrum = His wife was blind.
Shady Blackbelt = Another nice fucka I don't know.
George Bush = Who?
Klaus Meine = Thank God he wore that hat almost all the time.
Beating On Women = No idea about that movie.