Here's a random story. Enjoy.
A Day in the Life of Barb
One day, Barbara McHellenfliger walked into a lingerie store looking for sexy clothes to impress her female penguin, Alphy. The woman behind the counter said, "You'll have to look for clothes in the 'tard cake' section." Barbara was so offended that she kicked her shoes off and pinched the woman's eyes out with her toes and said, "Don't judge a woman by the types of fat rolls she has!" She ran out crying and Alphy said, "You don't have to impress me, your fat rolls remind me of beef cake." And Barbara said, "That's the nicest thing a penguin has ever said to me." Alphy replied as, "No ones got to know about it." Barb laughed and said, "Your mom, Ofeelia Hiney, knows about it." She winked at Alphy and she said, "I love it when you talk dirty to me."
The next day, Barb went to the doctor to get a few moles removed because she was afraid they might have a mind of their own and Alphy thought they were prettier than her. The doctor told her she had a disease called Moldermanidous. She screamed and said, "Yahtzee!" The doctor explained that Moldermanidous was a disease in which a person was found living inside another person's fat rolls. Her reply was yet again, "Yahtzee! Who is living in my fat rolls?" Just then, Curtis the Genuardis guy, jumped out of her fat rolls and said, "Freedom! Where's all the ladies?" Alphy said, "Ooh I love his chin. Will you marry me?" Barbara cried hysterically and said, "If you marry him, my rectum will suck him up and eat him for lunch!" Alphy said, "Sometimes we do crazy things when we're in love." The suddenly, Tom Selleck jumped out of her seventh fat roll. They made a compromise that Tom and Barb would get married and Alphy and Curtis would get married. They were so happy, Barb peed her pants. Tom said, "Ooh! I love a woman covered in her own sweet urine!" They eloped and called it a day.
The next day, Barb got a phone call from Tom's mother saying she needed a penguin print thong so Barb killed Alphy and made her into a thong. She mailed the thong to Tom's mother and Tom said, "I really appreciate you being so nice to my mom. She has had a hard life. She was born without a butt crack, so she likes to wear thongs because it makes her feel normal. She also has a thing for penguins [Reference to: Tom's mother and Alphy's love affair in 1946]