Forums > Personal > Sad news on my front on April Fools Day (this is no joke)

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NOTWMEDDLE user not visiting Queenzone.com
NOTWMEDDLE
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Posted: 01 Apr 07, 21:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

My mother passed away last night at 10:45 pm after a lengthy battle with COPD and diabetes. I'm at a loss for words right now for the first time in awhile and don't know what to say. One hand I am sad she passed but on the other am happy she isn't suffering anymore. I haven't cried yet and instead had my guitar and music do my grieving.

Instead of flying for the funeral, I am planting a tree in her honor and am having a celebratory mass for her on her birthday.


"Spread your wings and fly away, fly away, far away!", "No one makes me sing lullabies and no one makes me close my eyes"
KillerQueen840 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 01 Apr 07, 21:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm terribly sorrry to hear that. :(
That tree is a wondeful meaningful idea.


"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy."

(Jim Rohn)
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Posted: 01 Apr 07, 21:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Oh I'm soooo sorry for your loss! That's terrible!


"May you all have champagne for breakfast." (: http://theroyalqueenspad.queenzone.com/
Vincent. user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Apr 07, 21:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I am really sorry. :( That's horrible. The tree is a very nice way to remember her by, though. Sorry again. :(

Carol! the Musical user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Apr 07, 21:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That's horrible to hear. I'm sorry. :(


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its_a_hard_life 26994 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 01 Apr 07, 21:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Losing your mother is like losing apart of you. Just remember, the one thing you'll never lose is the memories you two had together and your love for her.

I bet she's looking down on you now, looking after you, like she did when she was still on earth. :)

Though saying this, I am deeply sorry for your lose.



NOTWMEDDLE user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 02 Apr 07, 04:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thanks guys for being here for me, I appreciate it very much. Like I said in first post, I am still at a loss for words.

The last month was very schizophrenic personally. I have been happy with my success at work (record store I work at), very happy with my life in Florida and the fact I have my dad, grandfather and aunt with me in Florida. I am also happy that I got tickets to Roger Waters and Rush but then losing my mom just is heartbreaking. I got wind of her passing after I woke up at 2:45 pm on April Fools Day. At first when My dad told me, as I woke up, one part of my brain thought it was a sick April Fool joke but then I could tell he was serious. Most of my friends (save two, one who just had a baby and the other who became estranged because of her overprotective boyfriend) and the siblings from my dad's first marriage (my fourth older sister Jocelin and oldest brother Shawn) have called me right back as did my biological older brother JJ. My oldest half-sister Toni and second older half-brother Micahel from my mom's first marriage (her first husband passed away in 1972 and the siblings of her deceased frist husband blamed my mom for the death of her first husband), on the other hand, had grown estranged from as they physically and mentally abused me and did some things to my dad which I haven't really forgiven them for. My other two older sisters Tina and Tania (whom we share the same mother) are respectful that I grieve alone away from all of the drama.

What has gotten me through today and prevented me from weeping was the music I cranked today (I played Queen's The Show Must Go On and Who Wants to Live Forever as part of my memorial tribute) and fond memories I have of her. I did get to talk to her a few weeks before she passed and told her that I loved her and said goodbye when the call ended. I am at peace with myself that I at least got a chance to say goodbye, when the majority of my siblings/half-siblings didn't and I am forging ahead with my moving and tree planting (which will be in my mom's memory).

David Gilmour said it all on the title track to On an Island and I quote "Dreamers may leave but they're here ever after" end quote. That album has pulled me through in the last year as I have lost my grandmother and mother in the space of three years. As the Bible reminds us "We are not promised tomorrow" and to enjoy the loved ones and friends while we can.


"Spread your wings and fly away, fly away, far away!", "No one makes me sing lullabies and no one makes me close my eyes"
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Posted: 02 Apr 07, 04:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

i'm sorry for your loss. you need a hug. *hug*

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Posted: 02 Apr 07, 18:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm feeling sad for you and I hope someday you'll be happy again.


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Posted: 02 Apr 07, 21:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm very sorry for your loss. My mom has COPD and I've lost 3 close family members so I identify with you.

All I can say is that in time the sadness goes away and is replaced by good memories. You've just got to hang in and deal with it however you need to and it will get easier.

sparrow 21754 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 02 Apr 07, 23:24 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

hope you dont mind me asking, whats COPD?



sorry for losing your mom man, that really sucks. i dont wanna say im sorry, since its a cliche, but be happy shes rockin out with freddie at least! lucky! she got to meet him before us -_- :P





why pay the visit when the visit is free?



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Sweetie user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Apr 07, 02:24 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

sorry to hear this


Evil will always triumph 'cause good is dumb.
NOTWMEDDLE user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Apr 07, 03:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sparrow wrote:

hope you dont mind me asking, whats COPD?



sorry for losing your mom man, that really sucks. i dont wanna say im sorry, since its a cliche, but be happy shes rockin out with freddie at least! lucky! she got to meet him before us -_- :P




COPD is short for Cardio Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (combo of chronic bronchitis and emphysema). She acquired through years of smoking cancer sticks plus combined with marijuana and breathing in asbestos, it ruined her. The doctors said the use of marijuana she was using contributed in ten-fold to her illness. The dreaded "cancer sticks" were the start point but combined with marijuana and working in a building with asbestos lined insulation, disaster. Then the diabetes developed cos of the steroids she was on to control the COPD.

My dad luckily quit drugs and alcohol in 1978 and gave up the cancer sticks in 1984. My parents divorced in 1987 and once my father got custody of me, I think it devastated my mother and just led her to party more harder than ever and slowly but surely caught up to her.

She is up there probably hanging with Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon, John Bonham, John Panozzo, Freddie, Syd Barrett among others all telling them how much of fans I am of them.


"Spread your wings and fly away, fly away, far away!", "No one makes me sing lullabies and no one makes me close my eyes"
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Posted: 03 Apr 07, 03:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm so sorry about your loss. The tree is a beautiful idea, and I'm sure she's looking down at it and smiling at you. God bless, and take care of yourself, ok?
*hug*


Four old ladies, still rocking away :)
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Posted: 03 Apr 07, 17:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sorry to hear that. :/ It's cool planting a tree in her memory... I kind of did that when my cat died. I planted a rose bush. :D


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Posted: 04 Apr 07, 05:11 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

You are so lucky though that you spoke to her and said goodbye near the time of her death! At least you won't feel the guilt of having said nothing plague you! :)

The tree is a really nice idea! My next door neighbour died ages ago and her name was Lily so I planted one in my garden.