Forums > Queen - General Discussion > The Absolutely Crazy Story Thread

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Posted: 11 May 07, 16:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

For those of you who love abnormal things and crazy skinless, bleeding demons *cough* Nathan!, bats, *coughs* Nathan!, and Weapons *coughs* Nathan!. lol..anyway you get the point. So for those of you who'd liek to join in this crazy story-go ahead!! : )


"May you all have champagne for breakfast." (: http://theroyalqueenspad.queenzone.com/
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Posted: 11 May 07, 16:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

So Lexie and John were inside the batcave with the four demons standing guard. The bats swooped down at them all together. John was thorougly enjoying himself while Lexie was screaming at the top of her lungs. Freddie, Brian and Roger were tied up in the corner and being attacked as well.

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Posted: 11 May 07, 16:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Get us the hell out of here," Freddie yelled.
John just continued to laugh at them.
"No this is fun," Brian said.
Freddie looked at Brian, "Are you freakin crazy?"
Brian shook his head.
Lexie attempted, once more to run out of the cave, but John stopped her.


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Posted: 11 May 07, 16:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"And now for my next trick," he said. He pulled off his wig and pulled some carrots out of it.

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Posted: 11 May 07, 16:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"What the hell is this? Where'd you see that? On Kim Possible!!?" Freddie said.
"hahahaha," John laughed. "No actually you're right," John said seriously.
Freddie rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "Can we just get out of here?"
"No wait, I have to perfect the trick," John said.
Everyone sat there waiting for John.
"Now did Kim do it this way? No I'm doing it worng!!" John said.
They all rolled their eyes and were very annoyed.


"May you all have champagne for breakfast." (: http://theroyalqueenspad.queenzone.com/
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Posted: 11 May 07, 16:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Even the bats were starting to get annoyed.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!" they all said in unison.

"Alright, keep your wings on," John fumed. "I'm not doing so bad. That WAS the trick. I did it right first time.

"I think I'm starting to grow some skin," said one demon.

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Posted: 11 May 07, 16:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"What really ok, just hold on,"John said. "I've got to show you th other one I saw."
Freddie sighed, "We'll be forever."
"Okay, well it goes like this," John said. "Someone say ta da."
"Ta da," Freddie groaned.
"Ok, now I have to step on the hat, then put it obver ny head, wave ut around, hit it 10 times, then put it back on my head, then kiss it." John said, doing each thing. "Okay, now a rabbit comes out! Hey-where is it??!!! Oh...at teh begining of teh trick i think im supossed to wave my hand over the hat before you say ta da."
"UGHHHHHH!" Freddie moaned.


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Posted: 11 May 07, 16:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Hurry up, John! This is sooo boring." whined Brian.

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Posted: 11 May 07, 17:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Did it have to be BATS?" Freddie questioned.

"Would you like some wolves too?" John asked, clapping his hands. Immediately, six wolves appeared and began creeping towards the other members of Queen, fangs baring and eyes gleaming bright yellow.

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Posted: 11 May 07, 18:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

The wolves gazed at Fredie and all agreed it was wrong to eat such talent, shifting there gaze across the room to Brian and Roger then to the centre of the room where John stood,still laughing at the madness of the unfolding story. The wolves then pounced, at break-neck speed full weight beering down on the unsusspecting John

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Posted: 11 May 07, 18:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

He saw the wolves being hounded and controlled by the pecking, shrieking bats, who seemed to be directing the wolves over to his bandmates.

The wolves started to go for Freddie. The bats pecked and shrieked, guiding them away. Then the wolves went for Brian. The bats pecked and shrieked and guided them away again. Then the wolves went for Roger.

That was what the bats wanted.

The wolves clawed and bit the binding off Roger, who lurched forward and cried, "I'm free!" But no sooner did he do so than all the bats swooped down, lifted him up, flew off, and carried him screaming into the night.


Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality...
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Posted: 11 May 07, 18:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

NOOOOOOOO Cried Roger i'm too good looking to be eaten , take Brian he wont be so chewy

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Posted: 11 May 07, 19:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

then the bats were like "damn, your right!" so they dropped roger back on the cold hard ground, and he was all like " well that sucked".

when the bats got back down into the horrendous cave of death, they grabbed brian by his hair and pulled him into the dark space above the rest of the world and took him to the floating platform called ignortouseisout, where ziggy stardust plants potatoes....


your words. not mine.
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Posted: 11 May 07, 21:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

And played guitar ^_^
With his skinless hands 0-o


Back whenever
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Posted: 11 May 07, 23:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

So Freddie shouted your 'Doing alright' just need to 'Keep yourself alive'. It dosn't matter if John is a 'Liar'because 'Jesus' will take our 'Son and daughter' to safety at 'The seven seas of Rhye'. All you need to do is meet the 'Great King rat' and wiat untill 'The night comes down' before you kick his arse with some 'Modern times rock and roll'. with a little help from 'My fairy king'.

(it was gonna happen eventualy)

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Posted: 12 May 07, 03:24 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

^ Tehe indeed


while all that was happening Lexie was cowering in the corner, but then John noticed her and started to walk towards her, but before he got near enough to her to...well to do anything she screamed because a spider had just crawled frantically across her arm away from the evil Mr. Deacon.
John swore rather loudly which startled many beetles that were having a snack on John's right foot and then moved toward Lexie again and pulled her into his arms (Damn my lack of evil imagination) and suddenly a beautiful large Unicorn from the skies flew into the cave and sat on Freddie's face
'EWWWW it farted on me!' screamed Freddie in disgust.
'haha! beef stew aye Fred?' said Lex, slightly muffled by John's shoulder on which he head was resting on (You know, I must be a dumb, hopless romantic...DAMN IT! I don't want to be hopeless ;_;)



Evil will always triumph 'cause good is dumb.
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Posted: 13 May 07, 16:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

One day, John walked into an arena where Q+PR were scheduled to perform. Clutching a photograph of Freddie close to his heart, he wept silently, remembering the good times and how dishonest it was for Brian and Roger to have the audacity to call themselves QUEEN! Seriously, QUEEN! Just the two of them!!!! What about Smile? John thought to himself. Oh, it's all about the money for those two tossers, John thought to himself. Well, I'll show them!

First, John murdered a man who walked past him, cut off his face and wore it as a mask. Using this disguise, he snuck into the backstage area and, systematically beating up all the security who were on duty, he found his way into the equipment area. John almost broke down in tears again as he saw the bass guitar labelled with a different name to his. DANNY MIRANDA? WHO THE F**K WAS HE? John cursed like a sailor and headed towards it. Stretching out his hands he picked it up and studied it carefully.

"You know," he said aloud. "I've always wanted a new golf club. Let's see what this baby can do."

Pulling out a golf ball from his pocket, John placed it on the floor and swung the guitar towards it. Obviously, since he couldn't afford a new golf club and had been thus out of practice for five years, John missed by a mile and smashed the guitar on the ground.

"I AM THE QUEEN BASSIST!" he hissed through clenched teeth, fiercley resisting the temptation to emit evil laughter.

Next, he walked over to the keyboards. That bloody traitor Spike Edney! Who did he think he was? Did he think going bald and giving up those beastly pink shirts was going to protect him from the wrath of John? Hell no! Mind you, John's hair by this time had a one-way ticket off his own head too, but never mind.

So John sat behind the keyboards and thought to himself. "I wonder what it's like being Elton John?" So he deliberately pounded the keyboards withy his fingers until every key had been plucked out and damaged beyond repair. Spike had just been spiked and how glorious it felt too!

Now for the drums. John sat behind them and started quietly drumming. He was enjoying this and felt a little sorry that he had to destroy them. Alas, Janus told him he had to so....loyalty above all else except honour? Nah, screw that, business was business.

"This one's for Keith Moon!" John announced, kicking the drumkit over with both his feet. They fell to the ground with a satisfying clatter. "Serves you right Roger for always being up yourself!" John sneered. Now for the biggest pain in the cough cough of the lot! That man who insisted his wig was real hair - Brian Maybe It's Real, Maybe It's Not.

Clutching the Red Special in his hands, John looked down lovingly at the well-crafted instrument and held it to his chest. He then broke it into hundreds of pieces on his knee.

He then stole Jamie Moses' guitar and the accoustic guitar for "undisclosed" reasons before setting the room, and thereby all the reserve instruments, on fire. And he made sure he laid lots of petrol on the floor before he dropped the match.

Obviously the show couldn't go on and anyway, after the last tour consisted of nothing but the infamous "We've got your f**king money" speeches, the fans were becoming restless and basically demanded a show or there would be hell to pay.

As soon as the assistant opened the door, hell was paid as he was engulfed in flames. Rapidly losing his sanity, he ran out on stage in front of the audience, who thought it was all part of the act, and obediently uttered a lot of ooohs and aaahs.

John saw this and successfully fought back a TINY pang of guilt. Why should he be feeling guilty? He was a bloody murderer after all! What did inadvertantely causing the death of a foolish Q+PR employee mean anyway? They represented everything that was wrong with the bloody modern music world after all! And what was with that Scooch? Oh

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Posted: 13 May 07, 20:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Aw, Nathan, was that the story you wrote for me?

How nice. :P

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Posted: 06 Jun 07, 18:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

So, John continued his search for Kim Possible in Greece, where they came after him with pitchforks and torches.......


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Posted: 06 Jun 07, 18:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

And Nathan announced his retirement from storytelling.