Bob Dylan: "But I know that those songs are just in my genes and I couldn't stop them comin' out."
Translation: I'm a pretentious asshole.
Bob Dylan: "I don't like to make records. I do it reluctantly."
Translation: I'm doing you all a huge favor by forcing myself to grace you all with my genius.
Bob Dylan: "I feel like nobody's gonna know how I should sound except me anyway, nobody knows what they want out of players except me, nobody can tell a player what he's doing wrong, nobody can find a player who can play but he's not playing, like I can. I can do that in my sleep."
Translation: I invented music and I'm the world's best at it.
Bob Dylan: "On this record I didn't have anybody to teach. I got guys now in my band, they can whip up anything, they surprise even me."
Translation: I am Bob Dylan. I am the greatest musician, nay, person on the face of the Earth. If any other musician can impress me, Bob Dylan, the holy father of all music then they must be incredible
Bob Dylan: "The records I used to listen to and still love, you can't make a record that sounds that way."
Translation: These whippersnappers today with their electric guitars and them boom boxes just don't know how great music used to be. Everything now is terrible. Everything from before was great. Except when they were saying that about me in the sixties.
Bob Dylan: "Brian Wilson, he made all his records with four tracks, but you couldn't make his records if you had a hundred tracks today."
Translation: It would be impossible to use only four tracks if you have one hundred available. The laws of mathematics prove this.
Bob Dylan: "We all like records that are played on record players, but let's face it, those days are gon-n-n-e. You do the best you can, you fight that technology in all kinds of ways, but I don't know anybody who's made a record that sounds decent in the past twenty years, really."
Translation: An enormous, temperature-sensitive disc of wax, prone to easy damaged and degrading in sound from the moment it is manufactured is infinitely superior to digital technology. Everyone in the world would prefer a record to a CD because it takes up much more space and is infinitely inferior in every way. That's just a fact, there's no way to prove what I just said wrong in any way. Also, as a side note, there has been no good-sounding music recordings in twenty years. I'm Bob Dylan, the older brother of Jesus Christ and God's favorite son and I have just said this therefore it is 100% true.
Bob Dylan: "You listen to these modern records, they're atrocious, they have sound all over them. There's no definition of nothing, no vocal, no nothing, just like -- static."
Translation: I do not know how to properly operate a CD player.
Bob Dylan: "Even these songs probably sounded ten times better in the studio when we recorded 'em."
Translation: Even songs that were written and recorded by me, Bob Dylan, the greatest musician in the world and son of Zeus do not sounding good using modern technology. If music by someone as amazing and outstanding as myself can't sound good then how could anyone else possibly stand a chance? After all, I'm Bob Dylan, the creator of everything good in the universe and personal mentor to God.
Bob Dylan: "CDs are small. There's no stature to it."
Translation: It is the size of CDs that affect sound. Records are bigger. Bigger is better. That's just common sense.
Bob Dylan: "I remember when that Napster guy came up across, it was like, 'Everybody's gettin' music for free.' I was like, 'Well, why not? It ain't worth nothing anyway.'"
Translation: Technology has ruined everything that is great in the world. Furthermore, I wish that people still died at the age of thirty and that we had to walk barefoot everywhere we go.
The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.